The past three years, I’ve focused on giving myself some sort of gift of growth for my birthday. Last year, it was my motorcycle safety class, license and motorcycle. The year before that, it was working hard and winning a couple pitch competitions, the year before that, it was a business class.
I tried to think of a gift I could give myself that would help push me forward this year (apparently getting the newsletter out on time was not one of them). I racked my brain trying to think of what to do and couldn’t think of anything significant. My book is at the point where I just need to dedicate the time to continue editing and let’s be honest with ourselves here, I haven’t worked on it more than an hour this month. I have been hitting most of my goals at work, I’ve been staying healthy, exercising, focusing on my health, my relationship, and my happiness. There hasn’t seemed to be anything big that I can do to help push me on the right path.
Usually my birthday month is filled with hitting huge goals, accomplishing big tasks, and then at the end of the month, I celebrate by ending that year with a bang.
This year, I spent August doing everything I could to just make it through. I overbooked my schedule, overworked, missed out on 1 and ½ weddings because of poor scheduling on my part (and some nasty food poisoning), and had the joy of being thrust into the fun world of health care (collective sigh).
At first, I was frustrated because I felt like I hadn't kept up the momentum I had built over the past 3 years. Then I realized that some of my goals this year were to be real, authentic, and unapologetic. At my previous job, I had to act older than I was. I had to pretend I was smarter, more experienced, more put together, more… EVERYTHING. One of the things I yearned for during that job (which was still an incredible experience) was to just be in my 20’s.
I was tired of trying to hide my age and I was over trying to pretend like I had every move calculated, because I didn't. And I still don't.
I wanted to mess up, be lost, find myself, discover things, be open about my mistakes, be selfish, be in love, and just be real.
I’m not perfect, I don’t have it all together, I mess up, I overbook myself, I miss my own deadlines, I cry on the phone every time I try to get quotes about health care (because I’m so frustrated by the entire ordeal), I go to events and make a dinner out of the ‘light appetizers’ ( I mean seriously, who doesn’t?). But alongside the S.S. Shit-show, I have also had some amazing accomplishments.
I have allowed myself to choose happiness. I have a job that I love, inspirational and supportive friends that surround me, a family that cheers me on, and a lifelong partner in crime that I get to marry this year!! Is it a gift that I can wrap up in a bow and give to myself? Not really but going into year 26, I think it’s exactly the kind of gift that I need.
I hope the rest of your month (aka the next 2 days) go well and that you allow yourself to choose happiness day in and day out.
Give 'Em Hell,