Who Am I?

If not identified by gender
If not identified by political stance
If not identified by a sport
If not identified by a group of friends
If not identified by a hobby
If not identified by my body
If not identified by a job
If not identified by a position
If not identified by a look
If not identified by where I live
 
I am a combination of everything while identifying as nothing.
 
I am
A photographer
A woman
A libertarian
A yogi
A snowboarder
A friend
A listening ear
A writer
A photographer
A motorcyclist
A marketing strategist
A body
A manager
A Californian
A New Mexico Native
 
But at the same time, I am none of these things.
 
I am a buffet. Tastes of each food without the commitment of a full meal.
 
I feel lost amongst the noise.
 
Everyone proclaiming they are someone, doing something, from somewhere.
 
I am trying so hard to find myself but grasping at a wall made of sand. Everything I grab crumbles in front of me.
 
I am not consistent. The only ways to feel identified by society are by the exact same things that we are told not to let mold us. The mold always breaks before it has a chance to set.
 
I am tired of trying.
 
“When all else fails, be yourself”
 
Who is that person? Yourself?
 
What does that mean? The only thing constant, is my state of flux.
 
Don’t get too comfortable, don’t relax, don’t become vulnerable, because the second you do you know what’s going to happen. The job won’t be there, the address will change, the sport, the hobby, the past times, the friends, will shift like the leaves change color.
 
What are you supposed to be when you are too afraid to identify as anything?